mere_vanilla: Dark gray lavender background with the words 'Mere-Vanilla Extract' written in simple cursive. (Default)
Originally posted to my tumblr blog on March 5th 2016. Slightly edited here for easier reading.

(To the tune of My Chemical Romance's "Blood")


Well, they encourage your fic to its completion,

Send you kudos when they think you need to smile,

I can't control the plot because it's too late now

and they love the story for it honestly I'll be stuck for a while


So give them smut, smut, pages of it, smut

Give them all that they can read and it will never be enough

So give them smut, smut, smu-ut!

Grab a chair because there's going to be a glut.


A celebrated fan amongst the rec lists,

We can fic it proper with what canon lacks

The readers and reviewers they adore it so,

but it's really quite disarming, 'cause I'm such an awful hack.


I gave them smut, smut, chapters with the stuff,

I gave them all that they could read and it has never been enough

I gave them smut, smut, smu-ut!

I'm the kinda fanfic writer that you love.
mere_vanilla: Dark gray lavender background with the words 'Mere-Vanilla Extract' written in simple cursive. (Default)
Originally posted on October 24th 2014 to my tumblr blog

(To the tune of "Robot Hell" from Futurama. Full of fandom-specific jokes and language. Note: this is a long post, and the space bar is your friend)

Jedite: Oh crap, senshi. Mind if I scheme?

Sailor Mercury: Scheming's evil, you shan't do it, we'll find ways to override your wiles. What a bad mini-boss, just a character wrapped up in chaos. Cool your head in flunky hell!

Sailor Mars: Misogyny's wrong and so is thieving, so is forging phony friendships too! Let's let your fortune now decide what type of result we'll abide here in flunky hell! --Ooh, deep-fried sexist!

Jedite: Just tell me why?

Sailor Jupiter: Please read this 55-page transcript.

Jedite: There must be flunkies worse than I.

Sailor Jupiter: We watched all seasons, there really aren't-- (cue Prince Diamonde waving). Eugh

Jedite: Then please let me explain: my schemes were merely mini-boss pranks!

Sailor Jupiter: You stole from youma, civilians, and your own ranks!

Jedite: Don't blame me, blame my brainwashing--

Sailor Jupiter: Please stop scheming while we're singing.

Sailor Venus: Selling bootleg taped concerts is wrong, musicians need that broadcast to revive!

The Three Lights: Hey Jedite, gonna make senshi delight with your plans scratched by The Three Lights! That's what'cha-what'cha-what'cha get in season five!

Zoicite: What is this, jail?

Kunzite: It's up to us to rescue him!

Zoicite: Maybe he prefers flunky hell?

Kunzite: It's us who outdid him.

Zoicite: Perhaps he back with Queen Beryl?

Kunzite: C'mon Zoi, let's take flight! I'm sure we'll win this fight, so just embrace Chaos's might--

Zoicite: My sass has blisters from the light!

Sailor Moon: Stealing crystals, fixing cat-fights, purchasing indecent manga-zines (flourishes Sailor Moon doujinshi)--

All Senshi: You'll repent every crime, knee-deep in your own slime, censored in the 90s so kids think you're fine, stuck forever here in flunky hell!

(Close with Nephrite eating a parfait, all alone)

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